Content Warning: This section of the guide contains references to child neglect and abuse, rape, sexual abuse, underage sex work, substance misuse, and domestic violence.

Cupcake’s youth and early adulthood were defined by her many addictions and the total hold that they had over her person and her life. Cupcake was introduced to alcohol in her most vulnerable state, when she was only 11 years old and her mother had just died. Pete is the person who first gave her alcohol, after which he then raped her. Cupcake immediately learned that alcohol made horrible experiences more tolerable, and she sought it out after that.

Cupcake was soon introduced to cannabis through Candy, a sex worker she met the first time she ran away. The effect was similar; Cupcake noticed that cannabis and alcohol, especially combined, made the experience of sex work more tolerable:

The lessons were clear: men want you only for sex; sex makes you money; money bought necessities like food, shelter, booze, and drugs; drugs and booze make life—and the sex—not so bad. Most important, doing anything anywhere was better—and safer—than just sitting at Diane’s waiting for the next beating (52).

Cupcake started hanging out with other kids who drank and used drugs, and with each passing month she became more dependent on their effects.