“When I play with my Barbies, I can plan out their lives and make them do all the things I want them to do. I feel sometimes that this is being done to me.”

Jaycee is recalling her activities during the time before her abduction. In retrospect, she understands that Phillip treated her like a human Barbie doll. The difference between her behavior and Phillip’s is that Jaycee would never presume to treat another human like an inanimate object for her personal use.

“I enjoy life so much more now, and I try hard to appreciate each and every day, but deep down I am still afraid it will be taken away.

This quote reflects Jaycee’s perspective as a free adult. To some extent, this statement indicates that the mental prison she inhabited for so long still lurks somewhere in her consciousness. She continues to struggle with the concept of agency and doesn’t realize that she has the power to take back whatever someone tries to take away.

“At times I feel like I’m still eleven years old. But something inside that frightened little girl made her a survivor and she has made me the person I am today.”

At many points in her memoir, Jaycee sees herself as weak and ineffectual. Her stepfather made her feel inadequate long before Phillip gaslighted her into believing she was helpless. However, through therapy, she also comes to recognize her strength as a survivor, despite the weaknesses everybody else points out in her.