After Billy moved out, Gay struggled to maintain the façade of a normal life for her daughters, her friends and neighbors, and herself. She could not believe that Billy would leave her: in fact, she had married him specifically because she thought that, like her, he didn’t believe in divorce. A few days after Billy’s departure, Gay learned that he was staying with a single friend and had been out boating and flirting with a group of single women. Believing that he was simply having a wild summer before returning home, Gay decided to do the same.

In Billy’s absence, Gay began to relax her lifestyle, taking off her garments and allowing the house to be less than perfect. She also began to spend more time with lapsed Mormons, such as two gay men who had left the church after facing discrimination and encouraged her to allow herself to question her faith. Another friend Diana, was kicked off of the reality dating show The Bachelor when it was revealed that she had already dated a contestant from a previous season. Gay points to the experience as her first foray into the fickle nature of reality television.