Deaf Like Me is a non-fiction biography of the Spradley family and their experiences raising their daughter, Lynn, who was born deaf. It was written by Lynn’s father, Tom Spradley, and her uncle, James Spradley. Deaf Like Me was first published in 1979; the second edition, published in 1985, includes an Epilogue Lynn wrote when she was 19 years old. In 1965, when Lynn was born, it was common to push deaf children to learn to lip read and use hearing aids instead of teaching them American Sign Language (ASL). The Spradleys attempted to use this controversial education system, called oralism, with Lynn, until it finally proved to be ineffective.

This guide uses the 1985 edition from Gallaudet University Press.

Content Warning: This text includes ableist language, eugenicist ideas, and outdated terminology. This terminology is only used in direct quotes; otherwise, updated and inclusive language is used in this guide. Although Deaf Like Me only uses the term “deaf,” this guide uses deaf, Deaf, and d/Deaf as appropriate. For more information on this terminology, see the Background section on ASL and Deaf Culture.

Summary

Deaf Like Me begins in 1964. Tom and Louise Spradley are an American couple with a three-year-old son named Bruce. Tom is a mathematics professor. Louise contracts rubella from Bruce during the early weeks of her second pregnancy. Though her illness is mild, she and Tom are aware that rubella could put her unborn child at risk of blindness, deafness, and other health complications. However, when Lynn is born, she seems to be perfectly healthy, assuaging their fears. When Lynn is a few months old, her parents start to notice that she is never startled by loud noises, even sleeping through fireworks displays and a loud parade. They try to test whether she can hear them, but their tests are inconclusive. It is not until Lynn is over a year old that her parents seek medical guidance, but several doctors refuse to listen to them. When Lynn is 16 months old, they are finally able to confirm during a series of tests at the John Tracy Clinic that Lynn has profound hearing loss.

The clinic provides Tom and Louise with some materials to help them teach Lynn to speak. Though she is profoundly deaf, she does have some residual hearing, which Tom and Louise find encouraging. In accordance with the literature from the clinic, the Spradleys choose to provide their daughter with an “oral” environment where she is encouraged to lip read and discouraged from using any kind of gestures. Lynn gradually starts to mouth some words, but she does not use her voice. Tom and Louise get her an auditory trainer that amplifies sounds, but it does little to improve her understanding of spoken language. Although she cannot speak, Lynn is creative and finds ways to communicate most of her needs with her parents. They do their best to treat her the same way that they would treat any other child. In public, they are embarrassed to tell other people that Lynn is deaf.

At a meeting for parents of deaf children, Tom and Louise are discouraged when a woman describes her granddaughter, who is eight years old and cannot yet speak. They assure each other that Lynn will be different. In the correspondence course that they use to teach Lynn, they often read stories about profoundly deaf adults who have learned to speak fluently and who have successful careers. However, when they try watching the news without sound, they realize how difficult lip reading really is. With the help of a private tutor, Lynn gradually learns to lip read some simple words like “ball” and “shoe,” which encourages her parents. After a long wait and a lot of expense, Tom and Louise finally get Lynn fitted for a hearing aid, but it makes little difference to her ability to lip read or speak. When Tom and Louise hear a simulation of what a deaf person might hear with hearing aids, they are dismayed to find that the sounds remain very distorted. 

As Lynn gets older, her parents find it more difficult to keep her safe. She is now curious and very mobile, and they cannot explain to her that some activities are dangerous or that some places are off-limits. They cannot comfort her when she is sick or injured. When she is two, Tom and Louise realize that Lynn cannot blow out candles. It takes a long time for her to realize that a puff of air must accompany the O-shape that the mouth makes, but she finally gets there in time for her third birthday. Her parents’ language lessons continue, but she learns to lip read new words only gradually. To make communication easier, Tom and Louise make Lynn a book of pictures that she can point to. Despite their efforts, as she ages, Lynn’s needs become more complex, and she grows increasingly frustrated at her parents’ inability to understand her. 

Tom and Louise visit a school for deaf children. The teachers all use an exclusively oral approach. Although the principal has high hopes for Lynn, Tom and Louise are disturbed to see that many of the students cannot speak intelligibly even in the second grade and above. They enroll Lynn, who initially hates school but soon grows to love it, and she makes modest improvements in speech and lip reading. She learns to say two or three words, but only hesitantly and with pronunciation that is difficult to understand. Like many of the children in her class, Lynn has some behavioral difficulties: She does not know how to play cooperatively with other children and finds it hard to make friends. Some parents in Lynn’s school district start to advocate for the use of ASL in some classes, though parents who subscribe to an oralist philosophy worry that exposure to ASL will prevent their children from learning to speak.

Despite their misgivings, Tom and Louise reach out to the parents who want ASL to be taught in schools. They meet a couple with a Deaf daughter around Lynn’s age who can communicate fluently in ASL and finally realize how much Lynn is missing out on. They start to learn ASL and start teaching Lynn her first signs. She catches on immediately and finally has a way to express herself and ask questions. Over the next few years, the whole family learns ASL fluently, and Lynn develops connections with other Deaf people. While on holiday, the family meets two d/Deaf boys. One speaks ASL and attends a boarding school; his parents have not learned any ASL. The other, Mark, has only learned through the oralist approach and can neither speak nor sign. The Spradleys encourage Mark’s parents to start learning ASL right away. In an Epilogue, a 19-year-old Lynn explains how important ASL is in her life. She has done much of her schooling at a boarding school for Deaf students and will soon graduate. She hopes that Deaf Like Me will help other families better support their d/Deaf children.