People wrongly attribute Black women’s unwanted singleness to bad individual choices instead of structural forces such as mass incarceration. Cultural factors such as toxic masculinity that stigmatizes male vulnerability, Black men’s insecurity about dating women with more education and money, and globalized disrespect of Black women in Hip Hop exacerbate the problem. Living alone is more costly, home ownership is more challenging, and building wealth is more difficult if one is single. In Cooper’s life, the dearth of potential partners has meant years of celibacy, criticism that she is too educated to find a partner, staying too long in unworkable relationships, and feeling invisible as a woman. Cooper is a proud feminist who still ended up reading self-help books, hoping to understand what Black men want. Cooper wants a world in which Black men and women learn “how to commit to the fierce pursuit of joy with one another” (244) and Black men are “allies and coconspirators” (242).

Cooper unpacks the idea that “favor ain’t fair” (254)—the belief that God indiscriminately gives favor to the wicked and righteous alike. Despite surviving hardships such as domestic abuse and growing up in an under-resourced community in early life, Cooper also experienced favor.