“L’dor vador. These Hebrew words, one of most fundamental tenets of Judaism, translate into from generation to generation.”

This quote addresses ancestry. Shapiro has a strong bond with her forebears and prominently displays photos of them in her house. She speaks to Jacob about his ancestors to help him understand his roots. She also gives Jacob his grandfather’s tallis and his great-grandfather’s tallis clips for his bar mitzvah to reinforce his connection to the family. Shapiro’s long-dead ancestors are present in her life. They not only serve as her compass but also inspire her writing.

“What never fail to draw me in, however, are secrets. Secrets within families. Secrets we keep out of shame, or self-protectiveness, or denial. Secrets and their corrosive power. Secrets we keep from one another in the name of love.”

As a writer, Shapiro is drawn to secrets. Inheritance is of a piece with the rest of her work in that secrets is one of its central themes. Shapiro’s parents chose to keep the truth about her paternity a secret. Similarly, secrecy and anonymity are critical aspects of the fertility industry. Uncovering these secrets has a traumatic impact on Shapiro, which she describes in the memoir.

“It turns out that it is possible to live an entire life—even an examined life, to the degree that I had relentlessly examined mine—and still not know the truth of oneself.”

Shapiro’s blindness to the truth exemplifies confirmation bias. She fielded comments about not looking Jewish her entire life, she was the posterchild for a Kodak Christmas campaign, and her mother told she was conceived by artificial insemination, yet she never questioned her identity, despite leading a highly examined life.