In the context of Lament for a Son, “affirming” refers to aspects of life, art, or behavior that celebrate or uphold the continuity and positivity of existence, which the author finds at odds with his deep grief. Wolterstorff uses this term particularly when discussing activities or expressions that seem to carry on as if his world hasn’t been profoundly altered by his son’s death. For example, he describes jogging as too “life-affirming” and criticizes music, even requiems, for being overly “affirmative.” In the author’s state of mourning, these affirming elements feel incongruent with his experience of loss and “brokenness” (see below), highlighting the disconnect between his grief-stricken perspective and the regular rhythms of the world around him.

Wolterstorff uses “brokenness” to describe the profound fragmentation of his emotional and spiritual state following his son’s death. This concept is particularly evident in his discussion of music, where he questions why even requiems seem too “affirmative” for his grief. Wolterstorff longs for “broken music” that truly reflects the shattered nature of his existence, emphasizing that conventional artistic expressions fail to capture the depth of his loss. He suggests that true brokenness in grief is so fundamental that it cannot be adequately represented by traditional forms of expression, highlighting the author’s struggle to find solace or understanding in a world that seems incapable of matching the intensity of his sorrow.