Content Warning: This section of the guide describes and discusses the source text’s treatment of violence, murder, death by suicide, and infidelity.

In My Lovely Wife, identity is shown to be so complex that truly knowing another person, or even oneself, is nearly impossible. Characters in this novel are not always what they seem to be at first, because many of them are keeping dark secrets or living double lives. Additionally, characters change over time, calling into question whether someone is really the same “person” from day to day or year to year. The narrator learns the painful truth that a single person can have both an appealing side and a dangerous side. This is true of himself, his wife Millicent, the notorious serial killer Owen Oliver Riley, and even the narrator’s teenage children Rory and Jenna.

Some characters create deliberately misleading identities by concealing aspects of themselves. Although Millicent appears to be a responsible, hard-working mother, she is a vindictive serial killer who deliberately sickens her own daughter. The narrator reflects that Millicent “gave the family structure. Both our kids play sports. They aren’t given money unless they work for it […] This is all because of Millicent.