“‘Your lovely soft brown skin, Queenie, but lighter. Like a lovely milky coffee. Not too dark! And Tom’s green eyes. Your big hair, Queenie, those dark eyelashes, but Tom’s nice straight nose.’ I looked around to see if anyone else at the table was shocked by what she said, but apparently it was acceptable.”

This quote shows how the concepts of eugenics and European beauty standards still permeate society. While Tom later tells Queenie that he loves her nose, his inability to stand up to his blatantly racist family makes him inherently part of the problem. Throughout the book, white characters who claim to be liberal, or paint pictures of themselves as allies to non-white people, consistently fail to stand up against racism.

“‘Look—if you are sad, you have to try not to be. If I had let myself be sad when I got pregnant with Maggie at fourteen, then where would that have left me?’ All of my grandmother’s responses come with a Caribbean frame of reference that forces me to accept that my problems are trivial.”

Queenie has a difficult time taking her mental health issues and trauma seriously because of how her family raised her; this is evident in the first part of the book when Queenie refuses to open up to her loved ones about what she’s going through and rejects the concept of therapy. A large part of Queenie’s journey towards reaching out for help was breaking through her family’s “Caribbean frame of reference” and making them accept that getting help isn’t a sign of weakness.

“‘It’s constant, with you. It’s too much,’ Tom said, his voice cracking. ‘You’re too much, Queenie.’ I opened my mouth to speak but closed it again. ‘Hope you get home okay,’ he said, turning to walk away. ‘Do you know what?’ I shouted behind him. He stopped walking. ‘I hope your next girlfriend is white, Tom. That way she won’t be too f***ing much for you.’”

This conversation occurs in the context of Queenie leaving Tom’s mother’s birthday party because Tom’s uncle said a racial slur. Tom’s desire to break up with Queenie related to instances like this as well as Queenie’s inability to open up to him about her struggles.