Alex finds out that the traditional Thanksgiving turkeys to be pardoned by the president are being housed overnight in an expensive hotel. Since he considers this government waste, he insists that the two birds be brought to his room in the White House. Alex immediately regrets the decision and is frightened of the crated, gobbling beasts. In the middle of the night, he calls Henry, who humors him through his panic attack.

As Christmas approaches, Alex is happy to have his father as a White House guest, though he also anticipates the epic battles that always ensue whenever his divorced parents are under the same roof. On Christmas Eve, Oscar Diaz proposes campaigning for his ex-wife. Ellen rejects the idea out of hand and says, “People don’t like women, but they like mothers and wives. They like families. The last thing we need to do is remind them that I’m divorced by parading my ex-husband around” (88). 

When a huge fight starts, Alex tells his parents to grow up and storms out of the room. Distraught that his family can’t manage a few days of harmony, Alex calls Henry. After bending Henry’s understanding ear for an hour, Alex ends the call.