Content Warning: This section of the novel contains descriptions of racism and ableism.

The novel is narrated from David Miller’s first-person perspective. He is spending time with his two best friends, Hayden “HeyMan” Mankowski and Cyn, at a pizza shop as they wait for David’s 16-inch pepperoni pizza to be cool enough to speed-eat. The three have been best friends for many years and will start high school in the fall. David’s friends time him as he scarfs down the entire pizza in four minutes and 36 seconds. HeyMan pays David $10 for finishing the pizza in under five minutes. David has a fast metabolism and doesn’t feel full after eating the pizza. David and HeyMan talk about famous competitive eaters like Joey Chestnut, who ate 70 hot dogs in 10 minutes. David prefers Joey’s competition, Jooky Garafalo, who lost the competition by half a hot dog. He thinks that Jooky’s feat is more impressive because Joey is much larger than Jooky.

David thinks that he got his metabolism from his dad, who is hyperactive and leaps from project to project when he’s not at work. David gets home to find his mom is making pizza for dinner.