Shteyngart’s novel begins in the diary of a character named Lenny Abramov. The first page, dated June 1, declares that Lenny is “never going to die” (1). He writes these words from what he calls a “UnitedContinentalDeltamerican plane” (1) en route from Rome to New York. Abramov’s humorous voice comes through as he decries ideas of life’s journey or its extension through children.

Abramov calls “each peaceful, natural death at age eighty-one […] a tragedy without compare” (2). He will escape this fate, he claims, because he just met Eunice Park, who “will sustain [him] through forever” (2). Despite an unassuming, “slight,” and imperfect body, “Eunice gave [him] a reason to live” (3). He lists the ways that he will “be good” and “believe in [himself]” (3) to make this life happen. Speaking directly to his diary, as if it is a person, Abramov explains that he will never die and will leave Earth to keep living if it is necessary.

After explaining his plan, Abramov shifts to describe the day he met Eunice, his last day in Rome. His “early-summer wandering” led him to cafes, to the Pantheon, and then to the U.