“She was probably thinking about the lines of SPEECH THERAPY LAB, though a more appropriate marker would have read FUTURE HOMOSEXUALS OF AMERICA”

When Miss Sampson, Sedaris’s speech therapist considers putting a sign on the door of the room where they have their therapy sessions, Sedaris makes a joke for a more accurate sign. The joke links homosexuality with having a lisp, at once a stereotype about gay men’s manner of speech but also a speech impediment that Sedaris possesses. The punchline is that Sedaris is a gay man with a speech impediment, a condition that he humorously argues, already outs him.

“I agreed but, because none of my speech classes ever made a difference, I still prefer to use the word chump”

When Sedaris relays to his mother how Miss Samson had tricked him into revealing his lisp, she is amused and calls him a “sucker” (15). Sedaris insists that while he agrees with that sentiment, it is not a complete victory for Miss Samson. His avoidance of “s” words had a far greater impact on his life than his speech classes. As an adult, he argues that he still prefers words without the letter “s,” including the word “chump” instead of “sucker.” This last word is Sedaris’s final act of defiance closing the chapter. 

“On the off chance that sexual desire was all it took, I steered clear of Lisa’s instrument, fearing I might be labeled a prodigy”

Mister Mancini, Sedaris’s music teacher had the inappropriate habit of insisting Sedaris treat his instruments as if he were having sexual relations with a woman.