People who live wholeheartedly make time for play, which can be defined as nonproductive action that brings joy. Brown draws on Dr. Stuart Brown’s research, which shows the fundamental importance of play in shaping our brains and facilitating complex social dynamics, creativity, and innovation. For busy Americans, who feel that they have so much they must do and so little time, Brown states that play can inspire anxiety. Any nonproductive activity feels terrifying. These people also feel the same way about sleep, preferring to override their body’s demands for recuperation and renewal.

While we think that accomplishments and costly material acquisitions will build our dream lives, resting and playing actually lead to wholehearted living. Brown and her husband, Steve, compared a list of what would facilitate their supposed dream life with a list of activities that would bring them more joy and meaning. They found that while the first list was full of status and budget-boosting accomplishments, the second list, which was filled with ways of relaxing or playing, would bring the most important qualities of a dream life to their present reality. Deciding to prioritize the latter list, they have bucked the trend of overscheduling their children’s lives, encouraging them instead to participate only in the most meaningful activities.