Fraught family relationships are at the narrative and thematic core of The Night We Lost Him. Domestic thrillers often use mystery and suspense to explore themes related to family trauma and dysfunction, and this novel is reflective of that broader trend. Liam’s difficult childhood and the emotional absence that characterizes his parenting style are key examples of The Night We Lost Him’s engagement with this theme, but Laura Dave also paints a portrait of how Liam passes his troubled relational model on to his children: Sam, Tommy, and Nora themselves have a fractured bond, and each sibling struggles in their own personal relationships. 

Liam’s childhood is never fully explored in detail, but the flashbacks to his teenage years and early adulthood make it clear that his first educational and career goals are to be successful enough to escape Brooklyn and his family. He acknowledges that his move to California after college is the geographical embodiment of his desire to leave the past behind. Liam is implied to have had an unstable childhood home and lacked a model of functional familial relationships. This instability prevents Liam from forging his own healthy relationships, and he prioritizes work over each of his ex-wives and his children.