In the novel, the disconnect and abuse between many of the parents and their grown children is cyclic and passed down throughout the generations. Although Frank loved Bobby, he was cold and harsh throughout Bobby’s childhood; Frank was not kind and did not encourage Bobby. Frank’s father treated Frank the same way, and was also physically abusive. The stereotype that men should be unfeeling and firm-handed is the root of the disconnect in Bobby’s family between the men and their sons, resulting in an inability to show true feelings.

Josie admits that he didn’t love Pokey as much as his other son Eamonn. Josie spoiled Pokey with money and material possessions to make up for this deficit, but Josie and Pokey were never close; while Josie isn’t certain, he believes this led Pokey to become a dishonest man. Josie is ashamed of both Pokey and Mags. While Josie and Mags used to be close, he can’t accept that she is a lesbian. Mags is heartbroken because she wants her father to remember how much he used to love her. Josie’s prejudice causes the problems between Josie and Mags: He thinks homosexuality is wrong, and it’s hard for him to see that it’s his daughter underneath the label.