Content Warning: The source material in this section contains depictions of sexual assault, infertility issues, and disordered eating.

“The sound of my own breathing almost drowned out my mother’s words, but, as if underwater, I strained my ears to listen, finally, to the truth.”

Kerry frames her memoir by describing scenes and feelings of being underwater, a hint that swimming is a major part of her life that informs her outlook on life. This moment foreshadows that she will learn something important about her parentage and that she will return to the feeling of being underwater at the end of the book.

“And with that answer, both Olivia Pope and the actor playing her declared an approach to what felt like the beginnings of freedom.”

Kerry starred as Olivia Pope on Scandal for seven seasons, and her relationship to the character was critical to her understanding of herself. Olivia’s words at the end of the series about a limitless horizon to start fresh reflected her own.

“I remember being in the pool, surrounded by crystal blue threads of light shimmering all around me; I remember the sounds of other kids laughing, playing, splashing.”

Kerry started swimming at a young age, spending many hours each summer in the pool at her apartment complex. A recurring motif in her memoir, swimming helped her center herself even when she suspected something was missing in her life or when she pushed her own wants and needs aside to please others.