Content Warning: This section discusses abortion, death, grief, and trauma.

Secrets inherently prevent connection and create space between people. In This Must Be the Place, Daniel’s secret about Nicola causes a literal separation from his wife and children. Claudette’s secret about her whereabouts and real identity separates her from the world. Some of the other secrets permanently end relationships. However, there are two secrets that are not strictly negative: Claudette’s hermitage allows her to heal and rediscover her identity, while Teresa’s secret love has an element of purity that allows her to safeguard part of herself in a life that threatens her inner self. The thrust of the novel is that secrets create unnecessary divisions within and between people; however, they also function as protections for the inner self.

Daniel’s secret separates him from Claudette and his children. He has spent most of his adult life avoiding thinking about Nicola. However, in the process of discovering the truth about her death, he begins to understand how his relationship with her and his fears about her death dictated most of his actions. He married Niall and Phoebe’s mother largely out of a reaction to the end of his relationship with Nicola. He avoids contact with Todd and loses their friendship to avoid facing his secret.