The novel begins on an unforgiving note and ends on a forgiving one. At the outset, Cady is intolerant toward her family, and with good reason. She sees the Sinclairs for who they are: smug about their wealth, unable to be honest about their emotions, and deceptive regarding their motives. They delude themselves. Measured against Cady's ideal of good behavior and proper values, the Sinclair ideals of propriety are empty and even harmful. Mostly, they harm the Sinclairs themselves, who suffer because they are not permitted to be wrong or weak or off-track in life. Divorce is unforgivable, as is poverty or lack of a career. The most unforgiving are the grandparents, but all the Sinclairs suffer from the same malady. The novel is about how they learn to forgive, just as Cady learns to forgive them for disappointing her, and also learns to forgive herself for harming her friends. 

The Sinclairs are a patriarchal family: Harris (Grandad) owns all the wealth, and his children survive by virtue of trust funds he has set up for them. This kind of situation used to be almost universal in human life. Men controlled property, and women served men in various ways, as wives or servants or workers.